tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-101131972012-02-16T08:53:07.972-08:00It's probably good for me to get this stuff off my chest.The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.comBlogger1471100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-46400985588700387362009-01-11T14:29:00.000-08:002009-01-11T14:31:21.548-08:00

As part of our traditional "White Trash Days," My friend Roxanne and I paid for one matinee and stayed for six movies. We are awesome. Also, the movies were all trash.Also, please take a second to vote for my buddy's funny art so he can get a scholarship! He's close!State "O" the UnionBrickfish

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-59780605581780205682008-10-06T07:56:00.000-07:002008-10-06T08:02:35.412-07:00

Once there was a snowman.... Gravy and I discovered it in front of an apartment complex near our home one night at about 1:00. We couldn't resist pulling the old "move the snowman's face to his nether regions" gag. Just as we had completed and begun admiring it, several girls came out onto the terrace on the third floor."Hey! What are you doing!?" they shouted.Gravy reports that he turned to

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-23320816806423315652008-08-18T05:06:00.000-07:002008-08-18T05:10:59.957-07:00

My bad. I somehow accidentally invited a horrible freak to a party. He showed up an hour and a half early, because he "needed friends," then dominated all conversation and made everyone feel uncomfortable. I went to the kitchen to get drinks for people, but when I handed them out, I also slipped them a piece of paper with instructions to leave the party and then come back ten minutes later.

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-67704625205093311562008-07-30T05:46:00.000-07:002008-07-30T05:47:37.198-07:00

I went streaking through the Kampground Of America Last Week.

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-72140232856099901442008-07-15T16:37:00.000-07:002008-07-15T16:50:31.587-07:00

When I was in high school, and beyond, I drew a comic strip entitled "The Adventures of Super Twinkie and the Masked Ding Dong." All the characters were some sort of food. Like when they had a Star Wars adventure, it was Fruit Piewalker, Bun Solo, Princess Mayo, Chewbroccoli, Darth Tater, etc.Sample dialogue:Bun Solo: I'm here to rescue you!Pricess Mayo: Ack! Get out!Bun Solo: Oh! I'm sorry!

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-64856912417481394762008-07-10T03:16:00.000-07:002008-07-10T03:24:34.097-07:00

Exactly a hundred posts ago, I shared the fact that there is a church whose sign I have vandalized on more than one occasion, and gave an example. I figured this would be a good time to share another clever little bit of malfeasance we performed on them.The sign had a clever, if not smarmy slogan when I went by one day:"FEELING FAR FROM GOD? WHO MOVED?"It seriously took a lot of effort, because

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-40067206485309208612008-07-09T01:43:00.000-07:002008-07-09T01:52:53.202-07:00

We were playing dodge ball in the church, and the other team employed a strategy in which they stopped throwing the balls back for a little bit so they could store them up and hit us with a whole barrage all at once. When they finally had them all on their side, we all ran toward the back wall to cower.One girl from the opposing team, a little confused about her team's tactics and our sudden

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-53051201691826617592008-07-02T22:36:00.000-07:002008-07-02T22:38:18.522-07:00

I have run over my roommate Evan at least 6 times in my car, going at least 20 miles per hour. We're talking he flipped over the roof of the car and landed on the asphalt behind me.

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-69906597961574893632008-06-30T01:05:00.000-07:002008-06-30T01:17:22.569-07:00

I was 7, and Mom figured it was probably okay to start leaving me at home for brief periods while she ran errands. I wasn't to answer the door, and if someone called on the phone, I was to say that she was in the shower, so no one would realize I was there by myself.One of the first times Mom was gone, the phone rang almost immediately after she left. We would later find out that it was Mom's

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-29281026220211018982008-06-23T06:50:00.000-07:002008-06-23T06:52:59.970-07:00

She was in my singles ward at church, and she was a bigger girl, and she was bothering me. And we were at a ward potluck. So I told her that the brownies were fat free. She finished them off.

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-76779726191718539272008-06-18T16:33:00.000-07:002008-06-18T16:38:16.412-07:00

The first time I was stopped by the police while toilet papering a house (ok, actually it was 40+ houses, which is hardly my record for one night) they told us we had to clean it all up. They asked each of us for his or her name and address, and I provided the name and address of a kid in my ward. They told us if we didn't have it cleaned up by morning, they would come write us tickets. At

The Confessorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13355791679469259378noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-2883943768635172462008-05-13T08:16:00.000-07:002008-06-17T10:25:53.857-07:00

You thought I was done with these, didn't you? Well, the thing is, I'd forgotten my password. But I remembered it again after trying about twelve wrong ones just now, and switched the whole blog over to this account. So I hope you're as excited for this to start up again as I am. The confession:BYU had an Easter Egg Hunt in which they had prizes hidden in Easter eggs all over campus. The

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1159953633849504602006-10-04T02:13:00.000-07:002006-10-04T02:20:33.886-07:00

One time, Heather Angela Hawks and I decided to make giant post cards for our missionary friends. We made them out of posterboard paper, and did up the backs to look like a giant version of what you'd normally see on a postcard. We had lots of friends write messages in the massage space, and stuck tons of stamps in the stamp square. Then it came time for the fronts. One elder got Dr. Seuss

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1159513631301229262006-09-29T00:06:00.000-07:002006-09-29T00:07:11.313-07:00

The Jerry Springer Show called my dad to see if they could get him as a guest. Really.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1159433710248268172006-09-28T01:40:00.000-07:002006-09-28T01:55:10.270-07:00

In honor of my buddy Ben, I will try to get this going again. Here's my most recent:I went to Seattle this weekend, and my friend Alecia asked me to get her some of the special spicy vinegar that you can only get at Ivar's. So I went to three different Ivar'ses looking for it, and finally I found it at the outdoor fish bar. I asked first the cashier, and then the manager, if I could buy some,

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1150315457729178062006-06-14T13:02:00.000-07:002006-06-14T13:04:17.746-07:00

Pinetree and I got in trouble at Wal*Mart on Sunday morning at 3:00 a.m. for trying on "all the makeup." He's a classic ivory and I'm natural honey.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1142936041160510502006-03-21T02:13:00.000-08:002006-03-21T02:14:01.183-08:00

I once threw up in a black man's giant afro.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1137579154227103312006-01-18T02:10:00.000-08:002006-01-18T02:12:34.250-08:00

I laughed so hard I vomited on my friend Emily at Applebee's. All over her and in her purse. We're talking a LOT of pink acidy barf. It was so sick. And she couldn't even stop laughing. Man, it was gross.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1132779138770702412005-11-23T12:52:00.000-08:002005-11-23T12:52:18.813-08:00

Once, in high school, I went into the bathroom, and it was immaculately clean. It was the first time this had ever happened in all of my time there up to this point. So I peed all over everything.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1131464461678040202005-11-08T07:25:00.000-08:002005-11-08T12:33:50.266-08:00

In sixth grade I moved to a new school, nine weeks before the end of the school year. At the new school was a kid who looked exactly like me, only shorter. It freaked me out. He had the same glasses and skin and haircut and everything. He was only a fifth grader. It was unsettling to see him. He had his friends approach me one day. "Hey, Bryce wants to fight you," they challenged.I didn't want to

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1131151401381793092005-11-04T16:40:00.000-08:002005-11-04T16:43:21.400-08:00

Carrie was a girl in my sixth grade class. Once, she and her friends (both named Sarah) were practicing fake slaps. You know, where you clap right on the other side of the face? Anyway, I said, "I wanna try," and slapped Carrie a little harder than very lightly right across the face just because it seemed funny to me. She told Mr. Sheldon, and I had to lie to him and say it was an accident.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1130624920077771742005-10-29T15:24:00.000-07:002005-10-29T15:28:40.106-07:00

When i was in elementary school, I thought it would be funny to prop up a fork between the cushions of the couch so that someone would sit on it and go flying up off the couch like Goofy, bellowing "WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOO." Well, after about a few minutes I forgot, and when TGIF came on, I went running into the living room, bounded over the arm of the couch, and landed squarely on the fork. I did not

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095928458685152005-10-22T17:23:00.000-07:002005-10-22T16:23:27.060-07:00

You don't want to read this one, especially the ladies. Really. I warned you, so don't blame me.In the MTC, I had three times as many nocturnal emissions as any of the other elders in my room. It was actually kind of embarassing. It was NOT my idea to keep track of these things. One kid never had one. I wonder about him.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095785669714652005-10-18T13:27:00.000-07:002005-10-18T13:27:22.303-07:00

I often replace the salt with sugar in restaurants' shakers. I just dump the salt on the ground under the table. Once I ended up sugaring my scrambled eggs when I sat at a table I'd forgotten I'd sabotauged.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095681439698352005-10-12T19:46:00.000-07:002005-10-13T18:46:41.480-07:00

I also once peed in a Powerade bottle in Mummy's fridge during a party he was having, while Betrayed stood guard. Can't really remember why I did that one, but I think there was a good reason. Like I was bored or something.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095607804140682005-10-06T01:40:00.000-07:002005-10-06T00:42:08.650-07:00

My friend Mummy enlisted the help of me and my friend Betrayed in making a documentary about toilet-papering houses for his film class. He wanted us to TP his house while he filmed, and then we would all clean it up and go do something else. Well, we did the first part, and then ran away. We also flipped off the camera every time he was shooting so the footage would be useless. And also, after

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095421990058782005-09-21T14:45:00.000-07:002005-09-23T16:01:20.693-07:00

I was at a lame loud party, so I called the cops on it (pretending to be a disgruntled neighbor) and we all had to go to Denny's.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095345839055282005-09-14T09:06:00.000-07:002005-09-14T08:08:26.926-07:00

Remember that brother we hung up in the tree at the cabin? Well, the next year we stuck the obsidian rock he had found into the fire. Then we fished it out with a stick and told him to come get it. It actually seared to his skin. He was screaming so wildly. Mom was PISSED.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126095217807660762005-09-12T10:53:00.000-07:002005-09-12T09:53:59.123-07:00

I really wanted to go to Divine Comedy. But I had to work. I knew this a week ahead of time. I also knew nobody would work for me that night because it was going to be very busy. So I didn't even request it off. Instead, right before I went to work, I downed about a pound of gummi worms. Then I went to work in the kitchen. I never even said I was sick, because that would have been lying. Instead,

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126094781352214552005-09-09T02:15:00.000-07:002005-09-09T11:50:48.196-07:00

I just woke up. Man, my sleep schedule is SO whack right now.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126094482444041242005-09-07T18:49:00.000-07:002005-09-07T17:50:11.983-07:00

I went fishing with my friend Tex and three girls we called the Marsh Musicians because they claimed to be able to lure fish to us by singing in three-part harmony. Two of the girls and I slipped and fell in the mud and were VERY dirty. Tex wouldn't let us back into his car with our muddy clothes, so we ended up all in the car in our underwear with a towel up between us. My brothers were pretty

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1126094257313042872005-09-07T04:50:00.000-07:002005-09-07T04:57:37.320-07:00

Ok, I'm going to try to be more consistent with these now. Sorry about the lull. And efy was awesome, thanks!Today's confession:My friends and I invented a game when we were in high school. It's called the shopping cart game. The point is to try to get the largest or most expensive item you can into a stranger's shopping cart and then see if you can get them to purchase it. You can also get

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1124925498937699562005-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:002005-08-24T16:18:18.943-07:00

I'm back. While I was staying at my dad's apartment in California, I was drinking a lot of bottled water. The bathroom at his house is through the bedroom. It seemed really awkward for me to have to go through there to pee, (especially with his mistress chilling in there) so I would just hold it. One night, in desperation, I peed into an empty water-bottle and chucked it over the fence into

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117834148283520412005-06-03T14:18:00.000-07:002005-06-03T14:29:08.286-07:00

My senior year of high school, my friends and I decided to pull a really great prank on the school. We made dry ice bombs in 2-liter bottles with a serum we'd spent months perfecting. The stuff inside would evaporate as the bombs went off, leaving no evidence. On the last day of finals, my friend Tex put the bottles in various trash cans around campus. He had Band-aids on all of his

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117833280565800322005-06-03T14:13:00.000-07:002005-06-03T14:14:40.566-07:00

I was homeless between sessions of efy last year, so I did what anybody would do: I slept in the park. And when it started to rain, I moved into the bus stop.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117833181532007032005-06-03T14:06:00.000-07:002005-06-03T14:13:01.536-07:00

I'd always wanted to be making a funny face in a legal i.d. picture. The problem is, they don't let you. So I hatched an idea. What if they thought that was my normal face? Then they'd be too embarassed to say anything about it. So I went home to california to get an i.d., and I realized this was my chance. I messed up my hair that day and contorted my face and started talking to the guy

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117832806971494742005-06-03T13:59:00.000-07:002005-06-03T14:06:46.976-07:00

The lady who administered my driving test actually screamed during the test. I guess I took a left turn too quickly. I screamed, too, actually. She set down the clipboard until the car was stopped, and then said "Okay, I'm gonna pass you, but you really need to be careful about turning." She had been talking me through the whole process. "Okay, now up ahead is a stop sign. What do you do

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117832347078269452005-06-03T13:55:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:59:07.083-07:00

I crawled in the doggy door of a friend's house around Halloween. They had all these paper bats hanging from the ceiling. I toilet papered the whole front room with their own Costco case of toilet paper, connecting all those bats until you couldn't walk through there anymore.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117832146445248852005-06-03T13:50:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:55:46.450-07:00

My friends and I got a big, blue van with no windows. When we were bored, we would drive around town yelling, "Heeeey, get in the molester van!" Those who got in could be our friends after that. At least for the rest of the day.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117831797921584052005-06-03T13:49:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:49:57.920-07:00

I hitchhiked 50 miles to get to my first mission reunion.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117831761704197312005-06-03T13:47:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:49:21.706-07:00

I look Arabian, so sometimes I like to pretend to be so and walk up to strangers in large cities and ask, "You could be telling me which way is Statue of Liberty?" Sometimes people actually just point in some direction.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117831572003119952005-06-03T13:41:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:46:12.006-07:00

I went to Chevy's with only a towel, a t-shirt, and a left shoe on.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117831060795950932005-06-03T13:33:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:37:40.810-07:00

I vomited on the front steps of the Hyatt in San Francisco.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117830763605833122005-06-03T13:27:00.000-07:002005-06-03T14:31:39.153-07:00

"No, I don't want any cake," said the boy in line in front of me at a ward function."Oh, I'll have his!" I said eagerly."Um, that's a girl," said the girl I had thought was the girlfriend of the girl I had thought was a boy."Oh... I know," I responded dumbly. I grabbed that cake and got outta there!

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117830420309778762005-06-03T13:24:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:27:00.316-07:00

I was in a revolving door on a date with a girl named Jenn. By accident, I allowed the door to strike my heel, which stopped the rotation and made Jenn hit her head, which knocked her out, which meant I had to carry her the rest of the way out of the door.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117830255918475302005-06-03T13:21:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:24:15.923-07:00

I got locked out of my house one Sunday. A.A. Melyngoch and the other girls who dropped me off were watching to make sure I got in okay, so to kinda show off, I opened a window and jumped through. Unfortunately, the window fell back closed again as I jumped, and I ended up going right through the glass.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117830061405428012005-06-03T13:20:00.000-07:002005-06-03T13:21:01.410-07:00

I don't know how to drive, though I did somehow get a BYU van permit.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117823422013417662005-06-03T11:25:00.000-07:002005-06-03T11:30:22.033-07:00

I got a misdemeanor charge Sunday night for giving a false i.d. to a cop after he caught us dressing up all the statues and fire hydrants on campus. Oh, well, it was worth it just to see old Karl Maeser in my efy counselor shirt and Brigham Young dressed up like a Hot Dog on a Stick employee.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117397601819708822005-05-29T12:51:00.000-07:002005-05-29T13:13:21.823-07:00

I stayed the night at my friend Josh's house (I was 21 at the time). In the morning I helped his mom unload the groceries. Then I went to use the bathroom. After I did my business, I realized something horrible. I had just unloaded a whole case of toilet paper onto the kitchen table. And there was none in the bathroom. Josh's sister, Keri, had friends over in the front room watching a video

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117319196886345252005-05-28T15:25:00.000-07:002005-05-28T15:26:36.890-07:00

My brothers and I got the chance to meet my estranged grandfather when I was 17. I went to the amusement park that day instead. Grandpa died shortly thereafter. I felt bad about that for almost two whole minutes.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117225479235677212005-05-27T13:23:00.000-07:002005-05-27T13:24:39.240-07:00

I went into Beto's (one of those really trashy yellow-menu-sign greasy-floored 24-hour Mexican restaurants) the other night. Barefoot.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1117055870109758552005-05-25T14:16:00.000-07:002005-05-25T14:17:50.113-07:00

There was a Catholic church in my hometown that was shaped like the Epcot Center. My friends and I, as a special Christmas surprise, climbed up it at night and attached a large Christmas tree to the top.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116987243768046552005-05-24T19:11:00.000-07:002005-05-24T19:14:03.773-07:00

At a Chevy's in San Francisco, they informed us that they would be adding gratuity automatically because there were eight of us. The service was horrendous. I wouldn't have left a dime. In order to reconcile that problem, I left a "negative tip"--a cup of my own urine.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116456864008441952005-05-18T15:49:00.000-07:002005-05-18T15:54:24.013-07:00

Some Molly Mormons in the ward had a "conversation jar" that contained inane questions intended to spark conversation. "If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it?" "If you could visit any foreign country, which would it be?" They used this jar all the time. Heather Angela Hawks and I inserted six or seven of our own x-rated questions about sexual positions, incestual preferences,

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116363430518098012005-05-17T13:56:00.000-07:002005-05-17T13:57:10.523-07:00

I frequently pee brown. Like beef broth or chocolate milk.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116262593046021882005-05-16T09:55:00.000-07:002005-05-16T09:56:33.053-07:00

On an impulse, I threw a large refrigerator box out the window of a van on the freeway (I do so love littering) and hit the channel 7 news van. The box hit the van's windshield and stuck for just long enough for us to lose them.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116156044572188472005-05-15T04:12:00.000-07:002005-05-15T04:20:44.576-07:00

I was in charge of a Young Single Adult activity once in which we went spelunking. There were about fifteen men and women there. We had to wade through muddy water up to our necks to get into the cave. Afterward, the drivers made us remove our muddy clothing and don Hefty bags with head- and arm-holes poked through to be allowed in their cars. We all went inside In-N-Out Burger on the way

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116103204118974742005-05-14T13:39:00.000-07:002005-05-14T13:40:04.116-07:00

I cried during "A League of their Own."

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1116049302129784882005-05-13T22:40:00.000-07:002005-05-13T22:41:42.130-07:00

I once took a girl to Alcoholics Anonymous for our first date. Yeah, we ended up dating for six months.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1115884273742757342005-05-12T00:48:00.000-07:002005-05-12T00:51:13.746-07:00

Yesterday we sneaked a weird creepy Tinky-Winky piñata into the restaurant where I work and hung in among the others.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1115833503941037272005-05-11T10:44:00.000-07:002005-05-11T10:45:03.946-07:00

I once went to the funeral of someone I didn't know just to get out of a Spanish test.And sorry, people. I will be more fastidious from now on. And yes, they're real, and no, I've only just begun.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1115414374550430002005-05-06T14:17:00.000-07:002005-05-06T14:19:34.556-07:00

When my institute director left me in charge of an activity, I hit my head hard on a window for comic effect. I must have miscalculated, though, because I sent my head right through the glass. Comedy was effected.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1114991326686185842005-05-01T16:45:00.000-07:002005-05-01T16:48:46.686-07:00

On that same trip, I put all the heaviest equipment from my backpack into his backpack every morning before hiking. Then I would sneak it back into mine when we arrived at the new camp. Man, am I ever a clever one!p.s. I should have internet access again by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1114492871134851612005-04-25T22:19:00.000-07:002005-05-01T16:45:17.646-07:00

I once filled my brother's sleeping bag with horse manure. He had it coming.p.s. We don't have internet access for now. Sorry these will be so infrequent for the next little bit.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1114088435360965752005-04-21T05:57:00.000-07:002005-04-21T06:00:35.360-07:00

12th Grade:Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Did anyone do anything interesting over Christmas break?Confessor [raises hand]Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Confessor?Confessor: I stayed up for four days straight.Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Well, that's just stupid.Confessor: In fact, I'm still up.Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher [withering look]: Anyone else?

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1114025764641694272005-04-20T12:35:00.000-07:002005-04-20T12:36:04.643-07:00

I stole a mug from Winger's. The waitress kinda gave me permission.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113861097410833192005-04-18T14:49:00.000-07:002005-04-18T14:51:37.410-07:00

Last summer I camped out by myself in a tent behind some apartments on the other side of town. I took a bus to get there. Cops woke me in the morning. They asked to see the contents of my backpack. All I had in there was board games. I don't understand why they were so mad. They kept calling me a peeping tom.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113605858737770142005-04-15T15:55:00.000-07:002005-04-15T15:57:38.736-07:00

I went to my senior prom with two girls. They never found out about each other.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113504086148739512005-04-14T11:40:00.000-07:002005-04-14T11:41:26.146-07:00

Confession 79 happened on my mission.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113435808313847932005-04-13T16:39:00.000-07:002005-04-13T16:43:28.313-07:00

I made a bunch of bumper stickers with messages like "My wife is fat," "Honk if you're gay," "Cops suck!" and "My other car is a broomstick." I stuck them on random cars around town during the night.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113338826955561122005-04-12T13:46:00.000-07:002005-04-12T13:47:06.956-07:00

I say excuse me if I burp, even when I'm alone.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113160800401618542005-04-10T12:17:00.000-07:002005-04-10T12:20:00.400-07:00

I hacked into Wiggle's blog yesterday and wrote a really mean message about all of her friends, ostensibly from her.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1113078541911422302005-04-09T13:11:00.000-07:002005-04-10T12:20:34.433-07:00

I used to put subliminal messages in my math assignments that said things like "I deserve an A" and "Miss Swenerton looks like Weird Al," even at the sake of getting a problem wrong so I could fit the right letter in the right place.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112790251095125672005-04-06T05:21:00.000-07:002005-04-06T05:24:11.096-07:00

When I was in high school, I had about sixty-five friends over to the house when my mom was out of town. When she got home, she found cigarette butts and a bra in her bedroom. I let my brother Ouiga take the punishment for it.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112668206010334262005-04-04T19:29:00.000-07:002005-04-04T19:30:06.010-07:00

I ate part of an English muffin that I found on the ground in a flowerbed on Sunday morning. It was disgusting.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112571843468475732005-04-03T16:42:00.000-07:002005-04-03T16:44:03.470-07:00

I slept through general conference and woke up just in time for President Hinckley's final talk. The problem is that I was actually in attendance, sleeping there in the conference center.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112462445793781222005-04-02T09:19:00.000-08:002005-04-02T09:20:45.793-08:00

I like to pretend I am mentally handicapped at the mall and get very close to strangers just to see how they deal with it.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112462319591846712005-04-02T09:18:00.000-08:002005-04-02T09:18:39.590-08:00

My friends are going to try to sneak me into priesthood session of general conference with the BYU men's chorus. I went to choir practice last night so I can effectively fake it.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112303762697403612005-03-31T13:07:00.000-08:002005-03-31T13:26:12.576-08:00

When I was younger, my brother had a piñata at his birthday party at the cabin. When he annoyed my friends and me the next day, we gave him the ulitimate wedgie and hoisted him by it into the big oak tree with the rope that was still hanging there. The next day he began to vomit. He had to be rushed to the hospital, and there was told he had a double hernia. He lost half of his right testicle.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112130611053410692005-03-29T13:07:00.000-08:002005-03-31T13:16:41.093-08:00

I went to California and didn't look up my best friend while I was there. My reasoning: I assumed he was dead, and was too afraid to confirm it. This is the one I feel the worst about out of all of them. This guy has always been the perfect friend to me, and I'm forever doing something terrible like this.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1112029732218526442005-03-28T09:02:00.000-08:002005-03-28T09:08:52.220-08:00

Recently, when I couldn't find a pen or sheet of paper, I quickly jotted down a phone number in toothpaste on my brother's shirt and hung it up in a closet. He was so angry, I got kicked out of his house.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111896529374504062005-03-26T20:07:00.000-08:002005-03-26T20:08:49.376-08:00

I almost invariably throw away my tray at fast-food restaurants.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111788227276467142005-03-25T14:01:00.000-08:002005-03-25T14:03:47.280-08:00

There was a nerd in my high school named Jeff Hoey. We toilet papered his house, and then I peed on his front door. His grandmother opened the door right as I was going, and I came this close to peeing on her, but I just ran away instead. Man, these are getting worse.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111659087357373802005-03-24T02:09:00.000-08:002005-03-24T02:11:27.356-08:00

Gravy and I rearrange nativity scenes at others' houses. We call them "nativity obscenes."

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111570436371980572005-03-23T01:33:00.000-08:002005-03-23T01:33:56.373-08:00

Another time I was mad at my brother, I filled his sleeping bag with stinging nettle.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111526167622622692005-03-22T13:06:00.000-08:002005-03-22T13:16:07.623-08:00

Per Toasteroven's request:So the girl with the aneurism. I was at her house one time and started to feel a bit hypogycemic. Her sister said, "Here, have some of Maren's cookies." She handed me a bag of pink-n-whites (Mother's circus animal cookies). I started eating them, and before I knew it, the bag was empty. I set it down on the counter without saying anything. A moment later, /maren

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111392582130917572005-03-20T23:41:00.000-08:002005-03-21T00:09:42.130-08:00

Tonight my secretary cooked dinner for me and some friends from work and back home. As the meal was winding down, I asked if I could light some candles in the kitchen. They said sure. So the candles I lit were shaped like eggs and were sitting in this little basket with easter grass. The basket came from BYU floral or whatever. So I lit all the little eggs in the basket on the table. Soon

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111322624000134672005-03-20T04:42:00.000-08:002005-03-20T04:43:44.000-08:00

Once while shaving, I knocked the sink off the wall and flooded the bathroom in my home.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111259457317273182005-03-19T11:08:00.000-08:002005-03-19T11:10:57.316-08:00

I do a dead-on impression of the girl with an annurism from back home. I used to call people and pretend to be her and ask for cookies.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111152314688725592005-03-18T05:23:00.000-08:002005-03-18T05:25:14.690-08:00

Once at my friend Josh Adams' house, I had to use a washcloth. They were out of toilet paper.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111101046348565572005-03-17T15:08:00.000-08:002005-03-17T15:10:46.350-08:00

A high school friend and I used to go every Valentine's Day to the cemetary, gather up all the fresh flowers, and sell them at school.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1111017788496439202005-03-16T16:01:00.000-08:002005-03-16T16:03:08.496-08:00

Last Christmastime, Gravy and I liked to put the neighborhood's lawn reindeer in dirty positions.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110961529482918442005-03-16T00:24:00.000-08:002005-03-16T16:01:09.776-08:00

I jumped off a cliff and fractured my spine when I was 17.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110911587874828892005-03-15T10:32:00.000-08:002005-03-15T10:33:07.876-08:00

I was out until 5:30 with friends last night. And it was a school night.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110838355563352282005-03-14T14:12:00.000-08:002005-03-14T14:12:35.563-08:00

I once used pages from the Bible as toilet paper.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110618571492058562005-03-12T01:08:00.000-08:002005-03-12T01:09:31.493-08:00

I am afraid of midgets.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110542623241266602005-03-11T04:01:00.000-08:002005-03-11T04:03:43.243-08:00

My ex-girlfriend and I invented a TV show. We tape ourselves breaking into people's houses and then redecorating for them. Some people need that. We call it "Invading Spaces." We did it to one guy's house while his parents were away. They grounded him. And this kid was in college.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110436200159370492005-03-09T22:29:00.000-08:002005-03-09T22:30:00.160-08:00

I once peed in my other brother's cologne bottle when I was mad at him.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110224179402922892005-03-07T11:34:00.000-08:002005-03-07T11:36:19.403-08:00

I fed catfood to my blindfolded little brother this weekend. You'd think he'd learn; this wasn't the first time.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10113197.post-1110105845809809732005-03-06T02:43:00.000-08:002005-03-06T02:44:05.810-08:00

Tonight I dragged my friends through the Castro and offended their sensibilities.

Robert Anthony Pierce IInoreply@blogger.com6