Confession 140

I was 7, and Mom figured it was probably okay to start leaving me at home for brief periods while she ran errands. I wasn't to answer the door, and if someone called on the phone, I was to say that she was in the shower, so no one would realize I was there by myself.

One of the first times Mom was gone, the phone rang almost immediately after she left. We would later find out that it was Mom's Relief Society president.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is your mom there?"

"She's in the shower."

"Oh, that's all right. I'll call back later."

About half an hour later, the lady indeed called back.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is your mom there?"

"She's in the shower."

"Oh, still? Well, is your dad there?"

"He's in the shower too."

After that Mom made us say "She can't come to the phone right now."

Confession 139

She was in my singles ward at church, and she was a bigger girl, and she was bothering me. And we were at a ward potluck. So I told her that the brownies were fat free. She finished them off.

Confession 138

The first time I was stopped by the police while toilet papering a house (ok, actually it was 40+ houses, which is hardly my record for one night) they told us we had to clean it all up. They asked each of us for his or her name and address, and I provided the name and address of a kid in my ward. They told us if we didn't have it cleaned up by morning, they would come write us tickets. At this point we had toilet papered every house in the ward but one. We promised we would. So as soon as the cops left, we toilet papered the other house and went to bed. I never could think of a way to ask Roy if he'd been contacted by the police without incriminating myself.