Confession 85

I once filled my brother's sleeping bag with horse manure. He had it coming.

p.s. We don't have internet access for now. Sorry these will be so infrequent for the next little bit.

Confession 84

12th Grade:

Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Did anyone do anything interesting over Christmas break?

Confessor [raises hand]

Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Confessor?

Confessor: I stayed up for four days straight.

Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher: Well, that's just stupid.

Confessor: In fact, I'm still up.

Mrs. Chemistry-Teacher [withering look]: Anyone else?

Confession 83

I stole a mug from Winger's. The waitress kinda gave me permission.

Confession 82

Last summer I camped out by myself in a tent behind some apartments on the other side of town. I took a bus to get there. Cops woke me in the morning. They asked to see the contents of my backpack. All I had in there was board games. I don't understand why they were so mad. They kept calling me a peeping tom.

Confession 81

I went to my senior prom with two girls. They never found out about each other.

Confession 80

Confession 79 happened on my mission.

Confession 79

I made a bunch of bumper stickers with messages like "My wife is fat," "Honk if you're gay," "Cops suck!" and "My other car is a broomstick." I stuck them on random cars around town during the night.

Confession 78

I say excuse me if I burp, even when I'm alone.

Confession 77

I hacked into Wiggle's blog yesterday and wrote a really mean message about all of her friends, ostensibly from her.

Confession 76

I used to put subliminal messages in my math assignments that said things like "I deserve an A" and "Miss Swenerton looks like Weird Al," even at the sake of getting a problem wrong so I could fit the right letter in the right place.

Confession 75

When I was in high school, I had about sixty-five friends over to the house when my mom was out of town. When she got home, she found cigarette butts and a bra in her bedroom. I let my brother Ouiga take the punishment for it.

Confession 74

I ate part of an English muffin that I found on the ground in a flowerbed on Sunday morning. It was disgusting.

Confession 73

I slept through general conference and woke up just in time for President Hinckley's final talk. The problem is that I was actually in attendance, sleeping there in the conference center.

Confession 72

I like to pretend I am mentally handicapped at the mall and get very close to strangers just to see how they deal with it.

Confession 71

My friends are going to try to sneak me into priesthood session of general conference with the BYU men's chorus. I went to choir practice last night so I can effectively fake it.