Monday, September 12, 2005

Confession 120

I really wanted to go to Divine Comedy. But I had to work. I knew this a week ahead of time. I also knew nobody would work for me that night because it was going to be very busy. So I didn't even request it off. Instead, right before I went to work, I downed about a pound of gummi worms. Then I went to work in the kitchen. I never even said I was sick, because that would have been lying. Instead, I kept coughing into a paper towel and sniffling and washing my hands lots. When people asked me how I was doing, I'd just moan, "I'll be fine." After a while, I ran to the trash cans in the back and threw up all those gummi worms. One of the dishwashers saw me do it. I just went back to work. My manager, Nick, came up to me about twenty minutes later and asked if I had thrown up.

"Yeah, but I'm ok now. I don't think it'll happen again."

"Well, I think you should go home."

"But Nick, we're really busy, and there's nobody else to cover this shift!"

"Well, that's our problem. You go on home."

Divine Comedy was great that night.

5 comments:

Gregory said...

Divine Comedy was great that night, and I'm so glad you threw up. I mean what a fantastic plan, somebody get this kid an Oscar!

Etelmik said...

It's official--you're evil. =P

I could like, see you doing that to get out of eating food at a family or social event, too. Actually, that would be less clever but more funny.

Anonymous said...

I like that he told you not only to go home,
but to go on home.

Smurf, I fear for your salvation.

lol..

not really.

Anonymous said...

That's terrible and brilliant! You didn't even have to lie.

Vandersun said...

All I can say is that you're lucky it was Nick. Alecia would've been all like "Oh HALE no. Just don't throw up again, and try not to touch the food too much." And Dave would've been like, "So? I throw up all the time. Deal with it, mama's boy."