Confession 127

When i was in elementary school, I thought it would be funny to prop up a fork between the cushions of the couch so that someone would sit on it and go flying up off the couch like Goofy, bellowing "WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOO." Well, after about a few minutes I forgot, and when TGIF came on, I went running into the living room, bounded over the arm of the couch, and landed squarely on the fork. I did not go flying off, as I had envisioned, but rather fell to the floor groaning, with the fork sticking out of the flesh of my left buttock. That really hurt.

Confession 126

You don't want to read this one, especially the ladies. Really. I warned you, so don't blame me.

In the MTC, I had three times as many nocturnal emissions as any of the other elders in my room. It was actually kind of embarassing. It was NOT my idea to keep track of these things. One kid never had one. I wonder about him.

Confession 125

I often replace the salt with sugar in restaurants' shakers. I just dump the salt on the ground under the table. Once I ended up sugaring my scrambled eggs when I sat at a table I'd forgotten I'd sabotauged.

Confession 124

I also once peed in a Powerade bottle in Mummy's fridge during a party he was having, while Betrayed stood guard. Can't really remember why I did that one, but I think there was a good reason. Like I was bored or something.

Confession 123, ABC, Do-Re-Mi, Baby you and me girl!

My friend Mummy enlisted the help of me and my friend Betrayed in making a documentary about toilet-papering houses for his film class. He wanted us to TP his house while he filmed, and then we would all clean it up and go do something else. Well, we did the first part, and then ran away. We also flipped off the camera every time he was shooting so the footage would be useless. And also, after we ran away, we had to walk five miles to get home, because that guy was our ride, and because we got lost.